Online dating wink etiquette
None of us likes to be rejected, and if we have any empathy about us at all we’re uncomfortable inflicting pain and/or embarrassment on someone – especially since that person’s only crime is thinking we’re kinda neat. When I first signed up for back in 2010 I didn’t know the rules. It turns out that I much prefer being ignored to being acknowledged in cases of rejection.
I remember feeling obliged, when I got a message from a woman who didn’t interest me, to try and craft a nice reply that didn’t make her feel bad about herself. If there’s no contact, it’s harder to take it personally.
Take the following as an example: A young woman sitting at a bar notices a man she finds attractive. Are you new to online dating or looking to improve your success using it?
He already has a date on the calendar with a highly educated woman who lives close to him.
I see it, I recognize the truth in it, and the part of me who was raised to be a courteous Southern boy who respected the feelings of others is never going to be quite okay with the idea that “rudeness” is the nicest thing I can do for another person.
Fascinating idea to ponder, and not entirely pleasant….
Remember online dating etiquette winking our internal e-mail and instant messaging services are there to help our community members build relationships over time within the site without having to share any personal contact details until they feel ready. The best bet is keeping mum, lack of response is an indicator of no-interest.
A study by the University of Iowa has similar advice.
In an Iowa Now article, Andy High, corresponding author of the study and assistant professor in the university’s Department of Communication Studies, said, “You want to balance all that is wonderful about yourself with some things that aren’t negative, but more humble or realistic about yourself.
This interplay simply cannot exist on the internet.