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I was totally wired after going out on my date and I felt a lot of old stuff come up afterwards.
I got through it with help from here, but it was the first time in a long time I felt like drinking for some reason.
Maybe one person is ready to start dating after 4 months, and another in 5 years, it all depends on the person. Maybe you want to date because you are lonely and feel dating may help you, and maybe even help you stay sober. I just think it is unfair to use an "innocent bystander" (a date) to deal with my feelings of loneliness and stress.If the idea of a year without dating causes anxiety or seems impossible..you might have other issues.I think the idea of not pursuing relationships or new careers or moving to a new state or even going back to school in the first year of recovery is a good one. But that is all the more reason to keep everything else as stable as you can. I've been in and out of the program for quite a while.In fact, as someone who quit drinking a long time ago, my own "rule" when dating was not to date a formerly addicted person unless that person had been comfortably abstinent for at least five years.Someone's gotta be the first to say it, so I guess it might as well be me: AA doesn't have a rule about dating.
I didn't drink and it made me stronger and more confident in the end, but it was the first time I dealt with some of those emotions sober in 20 years and it was a little hard to handle at first. Like many things in AA, the admonition not to date or make major changes in the first year is based on something that makes sense: the idea that in early recovery folks are still whirling around and need to take some time for themselves to regroup. Also, marriages, existing committed relationships, and children can't just be shelved for a more convenient time.