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Posted by / 27-Dec-2017 09:43

One of my male relatives brought home a date for Thanksgiving who could have been Barbie's twin sister.

For both these men (and to be fair, they were not much older than 20 at the time and thus had plenty of maturing to do), white women were the pinnacle of womanhood -- the prize that they secretly coveted, the emotional weapon that they knew they could wield.But personal moments of rejection are not the driving force behind my resentful feelings about black male-white female relationships now.The driving force is, instead, my awareness of all of the (straight) African American women -- beautiful, smart, good women, some of them my own family and friends -- who might not have a honey to bring home this Thanksgiving holiday because they cannot find a date, even as rising numbers of eligible African American men will be wooing white women. Individuals would choose each other for kindness, intelligence, perseverance, courage, and a host of other mysterious reasons that make attraction so magical.I wish my male relatives luck and joy in their relationships, but I also feel a pinch when I watch them with their girlfriends.It is the same sharp tug of disappointment that gets me every time I see a black man with a white woman on his arm.

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Most striking to me in recent sociological studies about interracial dating and marriage, is that on every measure, African American women seem to come out at the bottom of the pile.