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Don’t hound them with questions about what they’re feeling, text them incessantly when you become insecure, look to them for reassurances that they still love you, pressure them to have sex or throw yourself on them for sex.Don’t act like a sick puppy and beg, plead, cry or tell them how utterly distraught you are.The problem with all these tactics is that they have the opposite effect from what the person is going for—they inevitably push their spouse away rather than bring them closer.And although these attempts make sense, given that the person is feeling desperate and scared, they are the LAST thing you want to do if your spouse is saying they want space or—worse yet—they want to leave you. Military commitment to education is on display at organizations like the Department of Defense Education Activity (Do DEA).
You have to get them to fall in love with you again—by giving them the space to miss you—not by pestering them 24/7. Listen to calming music, go for a walk, call a friend etc., and DON”T chase your partner.All these moves come out of desperation, which–like it or not–is highly unattractive and will only result in them feeling more distance and even disdain for you.Ask them to go into couples work together and find someone who specializes in couples (there are many terrible couples therapists/coaches—don’t waste your time with someone who’s not excellent at what they do).Show up differently—in ways that your spouse has likely been asking you to do for years.If they complained about your anger—show up calm and stay calm.